I have at least 2 full wardrobes of clothing I wore when I could fit in smaller sizes. There are enormous vacuum bags filled with clothes sitting in the back of my closet waiting for a day when I might fit in them again. I even have clothes packed up at my parent’s home in Florida just waiting for me.
Only half of them get used (Probably less). It’s easy for people to tell me “Well, you should donate the clothing that doesn’t fit.” I feel like unless you’re plus size or have ever experienced some kind of noticeable weight gain, you might not fully understand. I constantly hold onto the thoughts of “but when I lose weight I might want this.” And yeah, keeping staple pieces like denim and button up shirts for the future isn’t the worst thing, but what if I never do?
As I’m sure you know, there’s a constant bombardment of societal pressure for anyone who isn’t teeny tiny to lose weight. (There’s also societal pressure for people who are teeny tiny to be small and look curvy. It’s all honestly a bunch of garbage, but that’s a talk for another day.) My body is nobody’s business, but my own. Same goes for yours and anyone else’s. But you know, we all have our insecure days and sometimes that pressure creeps in just a little or all at once. Sometimes that pressure isn’t just telling me to lose weight, but it’s telling me I shouldn’t feel beautiful at my current size.
Here’s the thing. We all deserve to feel beautiful no matter our size, weight, or shape. For me, an outfit can really boost my confidence and not being able to fit in what I have can kill that. Who really likes wearing the same 4 average outfits over and over again? I don’t. In fact, I sometimes feel embarrassed that I’m wearing the same denim skirt to work for the third time because it’s one of the most comfortable pieces of summer clothing I own.
Plus size clothing is becoming easier to find and it’s definitely more accessible, but I can’t always find clothing that fits my personal style or my budget. I get lucky sometimes, (Plus Size Forever 21 Haul), but not often. Also, why do brands keep assuming plus size women want to wear big, floral sacks of fabric? Because I sure as hell don’t. Be inventive and keep our bodies in mind. We deserve to feel put together and nice about ourselves regardless of size. Whether I lose weight enough to fit into my past Tara wardrobes or not, I still deserve to feel good about myself everyday. Having a full closet isn’t important, but owning clothes that fit and make me feel good about myself is.
Note – This is an honest out pouring of thoughts I’ve been having as the weather has been changing and I find it harder and harder to dress myself comfortably. It’s not meant to be the final word on where I am in my health journey or what I plan on doing in the future to take care of myself. It’s just what I’m thinking right now.