You may have recently noticed that I have upgraded my hair yet again. I’ve been playing with my hair a lot this year and I thought we could talk about why. A lot of it has to do with rediscovering who I am and a lot of it has to do with appreciating myself. That might be confusing, but let me explain.
Before we get too deep, let’s back track through some of my hair color history, shall we? Sit back, relax, and maybe play Hair by Lady Gaga in the background to get you in the zone (I’m not going to lie, this song makes me really emotional.).
My senior year of high school I decided I wanted even darker, sleeker strands since I felt like I needed change. I wasn’t very confident and I wanted so much to feel strong and beautiful. I didn’t realize how influential changing my hair color was going to be on my self-confidence. That boost of self-esteem helped me realize how much I love myself. I am a beautiful, capable person and I can do absolutely anything. Now that may sound ridiculous to some people, but I’m thinking it’s because you’ve never tried it. If you you’ve never taken the leap and you want to come to the dark side, I would suggest looking into Madison Reed, a hair care company that specializes in hair dye. They offer you the chance to tell them all about your hair and they’ll help you select the perfect shade (I love the Perugia Black shade.). Plus, you can talk to a Colorist for some added advice. There’s something about going darker that makes me feel like when I walk into a room, I own the place. I think everyone deserves to feel that way.
I won’t lie, I haven’t been feeling that way recently. If you’ve been with me the last couple months, you’ll know in December my hair had a battle with bleach for the first time. I had my hair balayaged in preparation for my next hair transformation – going gray. I had a hard time getting my ends to look gray and in the end, I lost the battle. My silver ends only lasted a week or so and before you know it, I was blonde again. I was hoping to go gray to give me some edginess. I had lost a lot of my chutzpah and I wanted to try to get it back. When my strands went back to blonde, I went back to sad. I decided I needed to do more than change my hair to feel like me again and so I did a lot of work on myself. Some months were extremely hard. In fact, this month has been very hard, but I’m pushing forward.
I have sunk back into my depression and it’s been overwhelming. Instead of fighting the sadness, I’m embracing it. I have willingly entered my blue period. I find when I recognize and accept that I’m experiencing a low, it makes it easier for me to feel okay. Now, I may have taken my blue period a little literally by dying my ends, well, blue, but much like my dark hair, it has impacted the way I feel immensely. I feel free to feel however I want without shame or guilt. I feel like I’ve got my spunk back. I feel strong again.
As the years have gone by, I’ve realized how much of me goes into my hair. It’s always been a reflection of who I am and where I am in life. I’m a strong, fun, empowered person and I always will be.
It feels good to be able to give myself some self love and reflect on just how much I am proud of who I am. I encourage you all to love yourself and give yourself the same opportunity.
-Tara Joy ♥